We all know countless films which depict best friends; it’s quite often that they either meet in school or as babies, or have grown old together. Even though I’m only 23, this is a feeling I have never known – in any relationship. Whether romantic or platonic, any relationship I have seems doomed with a shelf life. There’s only one type of character like this in fiction; the Scrooge type, who takes everyone for granted and is ungrateful for no reason (great). In my case, it’s the crazy cat Lady with no husband or kids – which buzzfeed thankfully celebrates jokingly as a life choice. I honestly can’t think of a movie or book where the character hops from friendship to friendship. Here are a few films with lifelong “best friends”
- Brother bear
- Toy Story
- The Harry Potter series
I can make friends easily, but I don’t keep them as easily. If I do, it’s because we are not that close and time has likely passed. Believe me, it’s not because nobody cares about me or I am taken advantage of. The reason friendship ends? It’s often my standards being prioritised over bonds; I can usually rationalise that it ended for the right reasons. If I tried hard enough, we’d probably still be talking. This doesn’t mean I’d be happier if I did, but the point still stands. Unfortunately, priorities make me sound like I can’t tolerate people’s flaws and just want everything perfect. I tend to take a highly precautious approach when a relationship or friendship gets serious, because it’s surely a matter of time before the bliss ends. Friendships take work, and I know that.
This is how it goes:
1. I find a kindred spirit
2. Everything is mutually great
3. I change drastically, and so my circumstances. The friendship no longer suits me.
I am described far too often as always wanting better. From my viewpoint, I don’t see myself as ungrateful, just that time goes on and I am surrounded by people putting up with less than they deserve. And, knowing that I am too flimsy, perhaps me out of the picture is better for them. Their lives are always better once I leave anyway, whether that is to do with me or not. If you love someone, let them go kind of logic. Maybe I expect too much of the world and should be more grateful that I have friends at all.
People can accept that marriage isn’t always forever, so why can’t we do the same with friendships? Is a lifelong bond setting the bar a bit too high for expectations? Or do I have no point?
So guys, tell me: am I just a lone case, or is there someone out there who has a similar experience?